- #Montage of heck how to#
- #Montage of heck full#
People don't realise where we really came from, y'know? What an isolated hellhole it really is. The tension from school had an effect on me, and the train scared me enough to try to rehabilitate myself, and my-my lifting weights and-and mathematics seemed to be improving, so I became less manically depressed, but still never had any friends because I-I hated everyone, for they were so phony. And the train came closer and closer and closer, and it went on the next track besides me instead of over me. … And so, during lunch, a rumour started, and by the next day, everyone was waiting for me, to yell and cuss and spit at me, calling me "the retard fucker." I couldn't handle the ridicule, so I got high and drunk and walked down to the train tracks, and laid down and put two big pieces of cement on my chest and legs and I waited for the eleven o-clock train. And I wasn't going out of this world without knowing what it was actually like to get laid. I decided within the next month, I'll not sit on my roof and think about jumping, but I'll actually kill myself. It turned out that pot didn't help me to escape my troubles too well anymore and I was actually enjoying doing rebellious things like stealing booze and busting store windows. Oh, boy-pot! I could escape all day long and not have routine nervous breakdowns. Then one day I discovered the most ultimate form of expression ever: marijuana. I accumulated quite a healthy complex, not to mention a complexion. "Oh, poor little kid." It bothered me probably more so because I was horny and frequently had to make up stories like, "Oh, when I went on vacation, I met this chick and we fucked and she loved it." Et cetera, et cetera. In a community that stresses macho male sexual stories as a highlight of all conversation, I was an underdeveloped, immature little dude that never got laid and was constantly razzed. And I don't know how anybody deals with having your whole family reject you. It's almost like he didn't-he didn't feel worthy because he was rejected, basically. I think the sad part of the whole thing is that Kurt just really wanted to be with his mom. It was like nobody-after a couple of weeks, they wanted him out. … He wanted to be the most loved, and it just wasn't the ideal world that he thought a family should be. … The game nights that we had, that was really important to him. Then I met Jennifer, and we got married, and, you know, he had a step-brother and -sister and then our son, Chad. And I think there's one thing that I said at one time, that I was never gonna get married again. It just embarrassed him to death that we had gotten divorced. 
Kurt was nine at the time, and everybody was talking about it.I mean, he belittled and ridiculed Kurt would be shamed. He was one of those kind of people that just thought children should be seen and not heard and shouldn't cause any trouble.
#Montage of heck how to#
And Don, he didn't know how to handle that.
#Montage of heck full#
Kurt, he was hyper, full of energy, always busy, y'know, jumping off of things, knocking things over-anything that would have to do with being a normal child.He started singing and playing guitar, and once he could draw, he drew all the time.Can't even describe what a magnet he was people would just come to him. He was the first grandchild on both sides. Kurt had to be born it was-it was a must. … Everything really did happen for a reason. Y'know, it was fun I mean, it was like, okay, I'm-all those problems are behind me, now I'm gonna have babies!Īnd I just couldn't wait to get pregnant I mean, that was the goal. And so he got me an engagement ring and we got engaged. So I just thought, because I liked him I loved him. I guess, like, we were more " friends"? I didn't know what "falling in love" was, so, I'd never experienced it.
Praise was hard for him to take, maybe? And he didn't know how to handle that.… As I grew up, I'm, like, I'm so glad I don't-I never got that genius brain. Kurt's brain was just constantly going.Kurt's testicles were the size of soft balls.THE FOLLOWING FILM IS BASED ON ART, MUSIC, JOURNALS, SUPER 8 FILMS, AND AUDIO MONTAGES PROVIDED BY THE FAMILY OF KURT COBAIN.
0 kommentar(er)
